Ok, I'm still not getting it. I've been up for 2 hours now studying your word and I'm confused. I know as a parent I have a responsibility to raise my children to honor you and love you... I realize that we all have different backgrounds, temperaments.. ya da ya da ya... but does anyone actually read the Bible anymore?? I'm reading all these blogs and websites of people all over the place that are striving to serve you and sacrificing their own wants to be what you want them to be. Why can't I find them here? I'm reading in John where if we love you we will obey you.. and in James where we need to act on what we read.. and Philippeans where we are to think about what is good, pure and praiseworthy... and how about the Proverb to train up a child in the way that he should go?
And here is my dilemma... christian parents who allow their kids to be nasty, malicious even, to other kids and think its cute because everyone wants to be friends with their kid... or parents who allow their kids to break the law because they think that law is silly and I'm the bad parent who thinks its wrong and doesn't want my kid influenced by this... kinda late since she already is influenced..
We have a wonderful, godly pastor who is leaving the church. He has taught us well, showed amazing love for his congregation and so has his wife. I have learned sooo much, been challanged, forced to choose to grow (or know I was choosing not too!). I have seen people petty and nasty to them, say horrible things to them and pretty much try to stifle their ministry. Did our pastor ever retaliate? I'm sure his knees are sore from the workout, he has only loved them more, and served them more. Yet, the people who are "the beautiful people" in the church have daily poisoned the church against their own pastor and his wife...
Not only that (I'm ranting but this is my blog!!) they fill their children with horrible movies which I wouldn't watch myself let alone let my kids watch, and then their kids put this filth in my kids minds AND THE PARENTS DON'T CARE.
We are exhorted in scripture not to forsake gathering together with his people, but where are his people??
Where are those that are set apart from this world? Where are those who hate sin? Where are those who are raising godly offspring?? Hello, God?? Where are they? You know what is going on... this is not a shock to you... you know my desire to raise children for you.. they won't be perfect, EVER... but I so want them to know you and love you and honor you in what they say and do...
and yet, as a woman, I need to stay back and pray and I have a hard time with this. I want to escape with my kids to a place where they will be nurtured and tended to until their roots are firm and they can withstand the attacks that are not supposed to come from the church. And this is considered a great church.
I kept my mouth shut. I did not tell anyone what I really, really wanted to. I would have only spoked what is true, but you didn't call me to be a Malachi, you called me to be a mom... a Mary.. a servant... your child... obediant and loving.. Please keep me in your word so that I will understand the lies of the evil one. Please keep my childrens hearts safely fixed on you, because I can't. Please help me to love your church, because right now I'm having a really hard time with that. Thank you for the gift of your son and for the loan of your servants who have led us and exhorted us to become closer to you these past few years... please bless the socks off them! Please help this church to know what they are throwing away. Please keep the minions of the evil one away from the children you have entrusted to our care. Please give me wisdom to deal with the parents in our church who don't seem to be doing a whole lot of parenting.... and then wonder why all the young people are not serving the Lord as adults. Please give me wisdom with the few people I know who are deliberately undermining our parental authority and mock my children's obedience... please take them out of the position of authority they have placed themselves in. I guess I should let you go God so you can get to answering this prayer. Oh, one more thing... please wake me up again tomorrow at the horrible hour you woke me up today... I really need to grow in you.. It was a pleasure beyond words to spend 2 hours just reading what YOU had to say today.
Please help the people who have the misfortune to stumble upon this blog today to forgive the personal nature of it.
I love you.
4 comments:
Hello, Martha.
I tried to find an email link so I could send a little encouragement your way, but alas, you don't have one.
So I'll just let you know that I have faced what you are feeling (and expect to face it many more times before my children are grown) and I prayed for you today. For wisdom to know what is right, strength and courage to do it, and for grace to do it in a way that honours God (and that He would indeed get you up at that same horrible hour again tomorrow). : )
Prov. 11:21 was a comfort to me during one of those times of discouragement. Actually, the more I read through Proverbs, the more encouraging that whole book is to me.
Martha, I'm so proud of you and Dave and the way you're bringing those kids up. There are many days that I think about how I'm failing in God's eyes as a parent because I'm not giving my girls enough spiritual leadership and yet I hear them speak so openly about their faith that it shocks me and reminds me that God must have spoken to them at least once or twice through me.
Anyhow, keep your chin up. You are an amazing woman and mother. Do not waiver from what you know is God's will.
Much love to you, Dave and the kidlets from your favourite cousin - at least on the Coughey side!! :D
Wow, lack of sleep can make you do many weird things... one of them was post that blog!!!
Charmin and Ang, thanks for the encouragement. Dave and I escaped with the kids to Oromocto to deliver catalogs after my massage appt. I'm even feeling well enough to enjoy massage!!! The kids woke up obedient today and... God is amazingly good!! Tomorrow starts the missionary conf and the first major pulling away challenge. Lots of prayer needed here. Looking forward to 6 am'ish!!!
Charmin... I'll add an email link. How hard could that be??
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