This was a little different than the last few books. The theme of the book was pretty consistent with subtle variations in each stanza.
This is the story of how loving God's word and obeying it changes a sinful man into a confident, strong and wise man of God.
It made me realize (as I do every time I read this, one of my fave chapters) how little I really love God's word. Do I pant after it?? Faint in my bones for it??? Seep myself in it morning, noon, and in the middle of the night? Is it the first thing I reach for in the morning? The last thought of my mind before I sleep?? Basically, is this my addiction? My strength? My everything? Nope.
I like God's word. Enjoy it. Need it. Know it's the basis for my belief, my salvation. But do I love it? Do I want to be with it more... even as much as... my husband, kids, housework, IKEA catalog, my blog, etc??
Why is my life not victorious like King Davids??? I don't LOVE God's word.
My love for God is love for a father.
For Christ, He is my everything.
This is His love letter to me.
What will happen in my life WHEN (not if) I love this book the way King David did??
Here are some promises..
I'll be blameless v1&2 "Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the
law of the Lord. Blessed are they who keep his statutes, and seek Him
with all their heart."
Not part of their heart. Not half heartedly, whole heartedly. Not because I have to
seek Him, because it is my hearts desire.
I'll not be put to shame v5&6 "Oh, that my ways were steadfast in obeying you decrees! Then
I would not be put to shame when I consider all your commands."
When I consider God's word and where my life should be, I am put to shame. I'm not
blameless.
I'll be pure vs 9 "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word."
Here is hope. I can keep my way pure. I can choose to be proactive today. I can be
more faithful in reading, faithful in prayer. Past mistakes do not need to mold my
future.
I can keep from sinning vs 11 "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might no sin against
you."
I need to memorize God's word. This is something I used to do a lot of, but not so
much anymore. Even if I'm learning the AWANA verses with my kids, that's some-
thing. That will help to keep me from sinning. Wow!
There will be strength in my sorrow vs 12 "My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me
according to your word."
There have been many times when this has proved to be true. In the times of my
deepest sorrow, God has been my strength; so much so that its almost difficult to
readjust to my regular world where that extra strength is not needed. I love the
'according to your word' parts. David knows what is in God's word and is claiming
promises he knows are his. When my soul is weary, God will strengthen me. I need
to know God's word, so I can claim these promises.
I can choose vs 30 "I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws."
This is the one thing I can do that really can please God. I can choose the way of truth.
This is following Christ who is the truth. I can read his precepts, accept them as truth
and be obedient.
He sets my heart free vs32 "I run in the paths of your commands, for you have set my heart
free."
I love this one. When I run, not hesitate, in way God commands He sets my heart free!
Not just my spirit, my heart!! I can live in freedom without feeling like I am missing
out, not with depression or in bondage to sin... truely free!! I need to know His word to
be able to obey and then I'm FREE!!
Freedom again vs 45 "I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts."
I will have comfort vs 52 "I remember your ancient laws, O Lord, and I find comfort in them."
I can find delight even when I am slandered against vs 69-71 "Though the arrogant have
smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. Their
hearts are callous and unfeeling, but I delight in your law. It was good
for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees."
I've been in the position of being slandered before... a few times... smeared with lies is
just the right way to say it. Those sticky lies that no matter how hard you try to wash
off, just seem to spread and spread. If I focus on those lies I AM MISERABLE. This
is experience talking. I have been quite miserable for the last couple months because
of this very thing. It has taken my focus off the word, even as I am reading the Bible
my focus has wandered to "Why are they doing this to me?" If I am delighting in
God's word the slander won't be important. I want to say it is good for me to be
afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.
I will find comraderie with God's people. vs 74 May those who fear you rejoice when they see
me, for I have put my hope in your word."
I want to rejoice when I see others who put their hope in God's word too. So many
christians put most of their hope in themselves, my hearts desire is to know more of
those who truely trust the Lord... as theirs is to find like minded folks as well.
I will be able to fully trust who God is vs 89&90 "Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm
in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations."
God is still the same faithful God that He was in King David's day. His word is eternal.
It reminds me of the commercial for Peanuts videos "Their for me, for me, for me."
Through all generations means mine too!! Eternal encompasses THIS time.
I will be preserved in this life. vs 93 "I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have
preserved my life."
I counted. This little phrase "preserved my life" (once sustained my life) is mentioned
12 times in this chapter. I've heard that if its mentioned 7 or 12 times, take notice. Its
really important. I need to remember that my life is absolutely preserved when I am
living in obedience to God's word until God in His perfect timing takes me home.
There is nothing on earth that can change that... note Job for instance. I can live in
freedom and not in fear, because God is preserving my life. There was a well loved
preacher here in these parts who served the Lord with all his heart, until he started
living a life of sexual sin. He thought he was "above the law" and stayed in his pulpit
even though other men of God warned him not to trifle with God. He refused to either
change his lifestyle or leave the pulpit. The result? A "freak" accident that killed him
instantly. This is serious stuff folks.
I will have wisdom and understanding vs 98&100 "Your commands make me wiser than my
enemies.... I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your
precepts."
God will direct my life vs 105 "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."
I will have a refuge vs 114 "You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your
word."
I will gain understanding vs 130 "The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding
to the simple."
This is confidence vs 140 "Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them." With the practice of reading, testing and proving God's word comes the confidence that this really is God speaking through the written word. This isn't just a book, or just a special book, this is the actual word of the Holy Almighty God written to me. To give my life direction, to give me hope and a promise of a future. I need to eat it up. To crave it, long for it with all my being. Not to read as a duty because its the right thing to do. To join with David as he rises before dawn and through the watches of the night to meditate on God's promises.
To close (yes its finally over) I want this to be my heart song vs 171 "May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees."
I want the overflow. I want God's praises to spill out all over my life as I get closer to God as He teaches me. I want my family first to see a difference. I want God to look so good to others they are asking me if I know Him and how they can too.
First I need to learn to love His word.
Thankfully the Lord can teach me how.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Getting back to normal... whatever that is
Just a thought... Putting titles to these ramblings is ridiculous. How do you title "I have nothing to say but I'm saying it anyway??"
Actually, that wasn't bad. Matt called tonight. He is in Toronto on his way home from Edmonton. He sounds happy and is glad he's coming home. The company manners for over 2 weeks are hard to maintain when you are ten.
Caitlyn went to youth group for the first time tonight. Dave was working late so I called a family from church that lives way out here in the boondocks with us. Their daughter wasn't going, but their son and his buddy were so Caitlyn got to go in with 2 boys. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not. Certainly in a couple years she'd see it as a good thing, now its just embarrassing. She had a blast and they went to Tim Horton's afterwards. It was a good evening.
When Lana said they could drive her it was at 5:45 tonight. She mentioned that Cait would have time to have a bite to eat before she left, but we were done dinner. She actually wanted to know my secret. You'd have to live here to realize what a joke that is. This was the first time in about 3 weeks we ate supper before 7:30!!! When I'm sick in the morning the whole day gets put back a few hours. I wasn't sick today!!
In fact, when Cait left at 6:30 the dinner dishes were done and the kitchen, dining and living rooms were all clean. School work was even done to my satisfaction.
Unfortunately, Dave came home at 10:45 tonight sick and missed out on the fact that we actually had it all together today. Maybe next month we'll have another all together day.
I did have to cancel physio though because Jack wasn't up to snuff still. I'm not sure if he's sick or teething. Justin is teething, and boy can he yell!!
Dave has a rather important meeting in Saint John Friday. Hope he's well enough to go.
According to the spellcheck, I can't spell my own daughter's name.
Since I can spell everything else, I'm not worried.
Actually, that wasn't bad. Matt called tonight. He is in Toronto on his way home from Edmonton. He sounds happy and is glad he's coming home. The company manners for over 2 weeks are hard to maintain when you are ten.
Caitlyn went to youth group for the first time tonight. Dave was working late so I called a family from church that lives way out here in the boondocks with us. Their daughter wasn't going, but their son and his buddy were so Caitlyn got to go in with 2 boys. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not. Certainly in a couple years she'd see it as a good thing, now its just embarrassing. She had a blast and they went to Tim Horton's afterwards. It was a good evening.
When Lana said they could drive her it was at 5:45 tonight. She mentioned that Cait would have time to have a bite to eat before she left, but we were done dinner. She actually wanted to know my secret. You'd have to live here to realize what a joke that is. This was the first time in about 3 weeks we ate supper before 7:30!!! When I'm sick in the morning the whole day gets put back a few hours. I wasn't sick today!!
In fact, when Cait left at 6:30 the dinner dishes were done and the kitchen, dining and living rooms were all clean. School work was even done to my satisfaction.
Unfortunately, Dave came home at 10:45 tonight sick and missed out on the fact that we actually had it all together today. Maybe next month we'll have another all together day.
I did have to cancel physio though because Jack wasn't up to snuff still. I'm not sure if he's sick or teething. Justin is teething, and boy can he yell!!
Dave has a rather important meeting in Saint John Friday. Hope he's well enough to go.
According to the spellcheck, I can't spell my own daughter's name.
Since I can spell everything else, I'm not worried.
Another Day in the Life
Yesterday morning started "officially" with the alarm clock going off and Justin throwing up all over my bed and pillow. I had just thought the night before that my laundry was all caught up, folded put away and there wouldn't even be enough to fill a load yesterday. That idea was soon squashed. Amazingly, I couldn't find the time in the morning to change those sheets and my room was getting really stinky.... so were the babies. Justin was changed and then I tossed Jack up on the bottom of my bed that was still clean and out squished.. you know.. from Jack's diaper on my blankets that escaped the baby puke. This time I started the laundry going and had major little boy clean up as well.
We were still happy and doing well. It seemed that we might have been doing well in the school dept too. And then, as I was starting supper, late because I got on this thing.. another story.. I realized it was Tuesday... PHYSIO NIGHT!!! AAGGHH!!!
We all got ready and dashed out the door, drove down the road, realized we forgot my bank card which should have been in my wallet, drove home again, got the card, had to get gas and were 15 minutes late for physio... just to find...
Physio is Wednesday night this week.
Now we were all the way in town so we went to the grocery store. The big kids went to the dollar store to pick out a treat while I did groceries with only Justin and Jack. It was actually very enjoyable. We were quite relaxed and were even able to help out an elderly lady pick out hot chocolate for her grandkids. She thought picking up hot chocolate would be no problem at all until she saw the 40 or so different kinds at the superstore. We prefer the no name (bulk size, of course) brand as it has the best flavour and is definitely the best priced. Then we can afford marshmallows too! We saw her again in the marshmallow aisle. She was so thankful she ran into us as she had promised them marshmallows and forgot. Our mission to help one person was accomplished!!
The big kids met us as we were going through the checkout.. perfect timing and off we went home.
As we drove in the driveway with 2 sleeping babies, I knew I didn't have what it took to haul in groceries and babies, so made a deal with the kids. They could eat KD for supper after they brought EVERYTHING in from the van. I would bring in the babies. Jack is too heavy when he is asleep, but in he came and I plopped him on the couch admiring how sweet he looks when he is conked out. Justin is so much lighter after Jack!! He woke up when I opened his door and giggled and giggled when I took him out. Tonight will be soooo much better than this morning I thought... until I walked back in the door.
Jack is now vomiting on the floor... all over his coat and everyones boots.
Caitlyn decided if they were having KD, she would most likely have to make it, thankfully! By the time the KD was DONE Jack had been cleaned up twice. I think everything he vomited on was clean. I had remade my bed as I was putting through my 4th load of laundry on my laundry free day. Justin now decides to hurl as well. My house stinks, I stink, the boys are semi-stinky and Caitlyn says "Would you like your dinner now, or do you think you are going to throw up too??"
Did I mention morning sickness is back? The morning was a treat to get through, but afternoon and evening I'm fine. Good thing!
The kids got to bed after 10. They thought this was great. Dave called and still had more work to do and wasn't leaving quite yet. The guy should get a medal for all he has been doing for work this year!
I lay down with Justin and asked Caitlyn to remind Dad to bring in wood when he got home and promptly fell asleep with the baby.
This left Caitlyn and Connor still up with NO MOM!! They slept in the living room last night.
Today is going to be better.
No one threw up ... not even me.
We have plenty of groceries.
I know I have physio tonight and can plan accordingly.
I have no laundry to do today!!
We were still happy and doing well. It seemed that we might have been doing well in the school dept too. And then, as I was starting supper, late because I got on this thing.. another story.. I realized it was Tuesday... PHYSIO NIGHT!!! AAGGHH!!!
We all got ready and dashed out the door, drove down the road, realized we forgot my bank card which should have been in my wallet, drove home again, got the card, had to get gas and were 15 minutes late for physio... just to find...
Physio is Wednesday night this week.
Now we were all the way in town so we went to the grocery store. The big kids went to the dollar store to pick out a treat while I did groceries with only Justin and Jack. It was actually very enjoyable. We were quite relaxed and were even able to help out an elderly lady pick out hot chocolate for her grandkids. She thought picking up hot chocolate would be no problem at all until she saw the 40 or so different kinds at the superstore. We prefer the no name (bulk size, of course) brand as it has the best flavour and is definitely the best priced. Then we can afford marshmallows too! We saw her again in the marshmallow aisle. She was so thankful she ran into us as she had promised them marshmallows and forgot. Our mission to help one person was accomplished!!
The big kids met us as we were going through the checkout.. perfect timing and off we went home.
As we drove in the driveway with 2 sleeping babies, I knew I didn't have what it took to haul in groceries and babies, so made a deal with the kids. They could eat KD for supper after they brought EVERYTHING in from the van. I would bring in the babies. Jack is too heavy when he is asleep, but in he came and I plopped him on the couch admiring how sweet he looks when he is conked out. Justin is so much lighter after Jack!! He woke up when I opened his door and giggled and giggled when I took him out. Tonight will be soooo much better than this morning I thought... until I walked back in the door.
Jack is now vomiting on the floor... all over his coat and everyones boots.
Caitlyn decided if they were having KD, she would most likely have to make it, thankfully! By the time the KD was DONE Jack had been cleaned up twice. I think everything he vomited on was clean. I had remade my bed as I was putting through my 4th load of laundry on my laundry free day. Justin now decides to hurl as well. My house stinks, I stink, the boys are semi-stinky and Caitlyn says "Would you like your dinner now, or do you think you are going to throw up too??"
Did I mention morning sickness is back? The morning was a treat to get through, but afternoon and evening I'm fine. Good thing!
The kids got to bed after 10. They thought this was great. Dave called and still had more work to do and wasn't leaving quite yet. The guy should get a medal for all he has been doing for work this year!
I lay down with Justin and asked Caitlyn to remind Dad to bring in wood when he got home and promptly fell asleep with the baby.
This left Caitlyn and Connor still up with NO MOM!! They slept in the living room last night.
Today is going to be better.
No one threw up ... not even me.
We have plenty of groceries.
I know I have physio tonight and can plan accordingly.
I have no laundry to do today!!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Blogger update
I have updated to the new blogger. I think it actually is easier than the old one. The spell check works!! It didn't before. That should clean up some of the mistakes from my end! I also like my new look. This layout looks more like me. I don't know what my girls will think as they liked the pink!! Oh well, they can start their own blogs if they want. Everything switched over perfectly and I'm as happy as a clam in high tide. If you don't understand the last statement your aren't a real maritimer!!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
First Wesleyan.. 2nd week
We went back to 1st Wesleyan again. We really enjoyed hearing the pastor speak this week. He spoke straight from the heart and we were both encouraged and challenged. Molly went to her Sunday School, er foundation building class no problem this week, but balked at Junior Church. She said she'd go to that next week. Jack knew right where to go and his teacher told me he was the perfect child.... happy, smiley, quiet, participated in everything when he was supposed to... Jack's my boy!! He loves it there. Justin is not so sure. He cried for a bit. Connor and Courtney know what to do and where to go... no probs. Caitlyn is a little stressed that we are going there and not Kingsley where her buddy Daniella is.
Soooo... We took Daniella with us tonight. There is a youth service which they went to, Connor and Courtney spent time in the gym with Pastor Karl and Dave and I went to the adult small group study. It was a great evening.
Afterwards we met a couple and found out she is Dad's first cousin! That was fun. We now have "kin" at the church. That sure makes a person feel at home. Hope's dad was Dad's fave uncle.
Just as we were about to leave I asked Caitlyn to hold Justin so I could put on my coat. She was just holding him when he started throwing up all over the place. Cait was not impressed. This was not how she wanted the kids to think of her on her first night at the youth group. Oh well, at least they won't forget her!!! There was another Caitlyn who attended the youth service for the first time and she and my Caitlyn hit it off. Daniella wants to go back. All in all it was a good day!!!
We still haven't heard from Pastor Chris from Kingsley. I think Dave will have to email him.
Soooo... We took Daniella with us tonight. There is a youth service which they went to, Connor and Courtney spent time in the gym with Pastor Karl and Dave and I went to the adult small group study. It was a great evening.
Afterwards we met a couple and found out she is Dad's first cousin! That was fun. We now have "kin" at the church. That sure makes a person feel at home. Hope's dad was Dad's fave uncle.
Just as we were about to leave I asked Caitlyn to hold Justin so I could put on my coat. She was just holding him when he started throwing up all over the place. Cait was not impressed. This was not how she wanted the kids to think of her on her first night at the youth group. Oh well, at least they won't forget her!!! There was another Caitlyn who attended the youth service for the first time and she and my Caitlyn hit it off. Daniella wants to go back. All in all it was a good day!!!
We still haven't heard from Pastor Chris from Kingsley. I think Dave will have to email him.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
BRF Ephesians.... late again!
Last night, as I waited my turn for the computer I was going over Ephesians again and praying on what to say in my review... and fell asleep. I think God wants me fully alert for this one!
I love the book of Ephesians. Whenever I am overwhelmed, or feeling like I'm just not making it as a real follower of Christ, whenever I don't know what else to read... I turn to Ephesians. The first 2 chapters are like my ultimate comfort food. No matter how I see myself, no matter how anyone else sees me... He chose ME before the beginning of the world, that I should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined me to adoption as a daughter by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory ofHis grace, by which he made me accepted in the Beloved.
Why on earth should anything else matter? When I know... not just in my head but in my spirit... that this is true how can I be upset about anything else? I obviously need to read this more. When my life is off kilter and I'm grumpy and worried and stressed and sinful (most days) , I need to open my Bible and read this. I think I should cross stitch a sampler of it! Its on my to do list now.
I am so glad Paul took the time to pray for spiritual wisdom for the Ephesians; it reminds me to do that for myself, family and friends. I love praying scripture for people, but its amazing how far Satan goes to stop me from doing that. I'm taking a short break right now to pray this prayer for my BRF buddies. Back in a few........
I'm back.. did you notice this? The same power with which He raised Christ from the dead is now directed toward us!! This is an exceeding great WORKING power! It gives me such a thrill (that sounded like my mom, but its the right word!!) to know that this amazing power is now working to to change me into the likeness of Christ.
The language in ch 2 continues to amaze me... I'm gonna paraphrase again, get ready!
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loves me, even when I was dead in trespasses, made me alive together with Christ (by grace I have been saved), and raised me up together, and made me sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness towards me in Christ Jesus. For by grace I have been saved through faith, and that not of myself; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest I should boast. For I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that I should walk in them.
This is such a personal passage. Its all about Christ and what He has done and I get all the benefits of His amazing love and grace. The NIV uses the word "lavished"... He is lavishing upon me the completeness of His love, mercy and grace, not because I deserve it but just because He loves me. This is the only too good to be true issue that is actually true.
Now we see the great mystery... as a gentile, I am allowed into the Holy of holies... the very presence of God, because His son became the propitiation for my sin. I can now be a partaker of His promise in Christ.
Here is another verse I love... personalized again..
Ch 3 vs 14-20
For this reason I (Paul) bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jusus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant Martha, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner being, that Christ may dwell in her heart through faith; that Martha, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height -- to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that she may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen
I'm now ready for the book to be over... but its not. Now that I know what it is that Christ has done for me, and how He loves me, and will forever its time to know what I am to DO.
I heard on the radio a week or 2 ago... Receiving eternal life is free, following Christ costs something.
I could just stop reading the book and everything it has said so far will remain true. Nothing that I do or don't do will negate what Christ has done for me. But how can I not want to obey Him?! I agree with what Charmin said a few weeks ago; I love order. I love boundaries. I love knowing what to do, where to go, how to act, what to say, etc...
Chapters 4-6 go from the doctrinal to the practical. Once we "get it" we are to start "living it" in every area of our lives... in our church, our marriage, our place of employment. Quite simply we should be living out our salvation in every area of our life. I may be just a little part of a big body, but I should be doing my utmost to be living out this life so that my part is a healthy part. The first thing I should be focusing on is not rushing out to do, do, do.. but to put on the new man.. to be an imitator of God, as dear children. How can I imitate what I do not know? I need to know God more, to study His word, to speak to Him constantly and to imitate Him. And when I forget to focus on Him, I don't imitate Him. I forget what He looks like so quickly. When my kids look at me, do they see Christ? Certainly not as they should.
Am I longsuffering, kind, full of love, mercy and truth? Am I wise, compassionate and forgiving?
Or am I crabby, nitpicky and impatient?
Is my aroma sweet smelling?? Or does my attitude stink?
Do I only speak what is good for necessary edification or do my words hurt and tear down?
I'm stopping now to remember that God created me for His good pleasure and the exceeding great power that raised Christ from the dead is working in me to make me like His son, because on my own power I'm all the negatives that are up in the previous paragraph. In His power I can be all the good. How??
Its quite simple. I need to be prepared.... armed even. I just can't go around with the sword of the spirit waving it around like a maniac. I need to get ready. I need to gird myself with truth, wear the breastplate of righteousness (mine is as filthy rags, Christ's righteousness is what I need to hide behind), my feet need to be shod with the gospel of the gospel of peace (the gospel is the base of everything I do). I need to not only have a shield of faith, but know how to use it. Unused faith makes us weak and defenceless. The helmet of Salvation protects my mind and the proper use of the sword of the spirit with slay the enemy. Its not enough to know that I have all this armour, if I don't put it on I am defenceless. I also need to pray, pray and keep praying. I need to ask God how to wear my armour correctly. I need to pray for strength for my brothers and sisters regularly. I need to pray for boldness.
The Christian life is not a picnic, its a battlefield. We need to train our children to fight, not just play around with their armour. There are standards we need to live out in our love for Christ. How can we do less? Without what He has done I am just another lost soul without hope, living in darkness.
This has been very long. Sorry. I needed to verbalize it all for me... so I will remember.
Now I need to go check the amazing job my kids did cleaning out the woodstove.
Can't wait to read everyone else's blog... after I finish my chores!!
I love the book of Ephesians. Whenever I am overwhelmed, or feeling like I'm just not making it as a real follower of Christ, whenever I don't know what else to read... I turn to Ephesians. The first 2 chapters are like my ultimate comfort food. No matter how I see myself, no matter how anyone else sees me... He chose ME before the beginning of the world, that I should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined me to adoption as a daughter by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory ofHis grace, by which he made me accepted in the Beloved.
Why on earth should anything else matter? When I know... not just in my head but in my spirit... that this is true how can I be upset about anything else? I obviously need to read this more. When my life is off kilter and I'm grumpy and worried and stressed and sinful (most days) , I need to open my Bible and read this. I think I should cross stitch a sampler of it! Its on my to do list now.
I am so glad Paul took the time to pray for spiritual wisdom for the Ephesians; it reminds me to do that for myself, family and friends. I love praying scripture for people, but its amazing how far Satan goes to stop me from doing that. I'm taking a short break right now to pray this prayer for my BRF buddies. Back in a few........
I'm back.. did you notice this? The same power with which He raised Christ from the dead is now directed toward us!! This is an exceeding great WORKING power! It gives me such a thrill (that sounded like my mom, but its the right word!!) to know that this amazing power is now working to to change me into the likeness of Christ.
The language in ch 2 continues to amaze me... I'm gonna paraphrase again, get ready!
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loves me, even when I was dead in trespasses, made me alive together with Christ (by grace I have been saved), and raised me up together, and made me sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness towards me in Christ Jesus. For by grace I have been saved through faith, and that not of myself; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest I should boast. For I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that I should walk in them.
This is such a personal passage. Its all about Christ and what He has done and I get all the benefits of His amazing love and grace. The NIV uses the word "lavished"... He is lavishing upon me the completeness of His love, mercy and grace, not because I deserve it but just because He loves me. This is the only too good to be true issue that is actually true.
Now we see the great mystery... as a gentile, I am allowed into the Holy of holies... the very presence of God, because His son became the propitiation for my sin. I can now be a partaker of His promise in Christ.
Here is another verse I love... personalized again..
Ch 3 vs 14-20
For this reason I (Paul) bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jusus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant Martha, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner being, that Christ may dwell in her heart through faith; that Martha, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height -- to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that she may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen
I'm now ready for the book to be over... but its not. Now that I know what it is that Christ has done for me, and how He loves me, and will forever its time to know what I am to DO.
I heard on the radio a week or 2 ago... Receiving eternal life is free, following Christ costs something.
I could just stop reading the book and everything it has said so far will remain true. Nothing that I do or don't do will negate what Christ has done for me. But how can I not want to obey Him?! I agree with what Charmin said a few weeks ago; I love order. I love boundaries. I love knowing what to do, where to go, how to act, what to say, etc...
Chapters 4-6 go from the doctrinal to the practical. Once we "get it" we are to start "living it" in every area of our lives... in our church, our marriage, our place of employment. Quite simply we should be living out our salvation in every area of our life. I may be just a little part of a big body, but I should be doing my utmost to be living out this life so that my part is a healthy part. The first thing I should be focusing on is not rushing out to do, do, do.. but to put on the new man.. to be an imitator of God, as dear children. How can I imitate what I do not know? I need to know God more, to study His word, to speak to Him constantly and to imitate Him. And when I forget to focus on Him, I don't imitate Him. I forget what He looks like so quickly. When my kids look at me, do they see Christ? Certainly not as they should.
Am I longsuffering, kind, full of love, mercy and truth? Am I wise, compassionate and forgiving?
Or am I crabby, nitpicky and impatient?
Is my aroma sweet smelling?? Or does my attitude stink?
Do I only speak what is good for necessary edification or do my words hurt and tear down?
I'm stopping now to remember that God created me for His good pleasure and the exceeding great power that raised Christ from the dead is working in me to make me like His son, because on my own power I'm all the negatives that are up in the previous paragraph. In His power I can be all the good. How??
Its quite simple. I need to be prepared.... armed even. I just can't go around with the sword of the spirit waving it around like a maniac. I need to get ready. I need to gird myself with truth, wear the breastplate of righteousness (mine is as filthy rags, Christ's righteousness is what I need to hide behind), my feet need to be shod with the gospel of the gospel of peace (the gospel is the base of everything I do). I need to not only have a shield of faith, but know how to use it. Unused faith makes us weak and defenceless. The helmet of Salvation protects my mind and the proper use of the sword of the spirit with slay the enemy. Its not enough to know that I have all this armour, if I don't put it on I am defenceless. I also need to pray, pray and keep praying. I need to ask God how to wear my armour correctly. I need to pray for strength for my brothers and sisters regularly. I need to pray for boldness.
The Christian life is not a picnic, its a battlefield. We need to train our children to fight, not just play around with their armour. There are standards we need to live out in our love for Christ. How can we do less? Without what He has done I am just another lost soul without hope, living in darkness.
This has been very long. Sorry. I needed to verbalize it all for me... so I will remember.
Now I need to go check the amazing job my kids did cleaning out the woodstove.
Can't wait to read everyone else's blog... after I finish my chores!!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
First Wesleyan
We are looking for a new church. I hate to be so blunt, but there you have it. Today we attended First Wesleyan. Yes, I've always been Baptist, but obviously aren't terribly thrilled with what we've been finding in Baptist circles.
The kids "foundation building" classes were great. I know the lady who has Caitlyn's class and she is amazing, so godly and wise. I couldn't pick a better teacher for her. Dave's friend/coworker does the Jr church and that was great too.
The music was terrific. There were instruments (sweet trumpet Ang... the bongos were a nice touch!!) The worship leader, Mark, is a friend of ours and he did an incredible job. The choir was wonderful. Mark was dancing up a storm there in the back row of the choir which Caitlyn thought was funny!! The music was all very worshipful and varied.
It was kind of a weird day to visit since they had a missionary speaker... none like I had ever heard though. She has the ear of the likes of Bill Gates and Bill Clinton and can easily articulate why the church of commonfolk can do more in the world than all their professionals. Its not the amazing abilities of the people to deliver hope, education and the gospel; its the power of God working through these common people that is making the difference. They have to agree with her, even though they don't really get it. She was an amazing speaker.
At the end of the service Pastor Mark, the worship pastor, our friend, got up and read his resignation... was it because he saw US there? It was just a weird day to be there. So... we'll go again next week when it should be a normal week.
Pastor Karl, the Senior Pastor was very approachable. He wants to meet with Dave soon for coffee. I think we'll wait on that until we have a chance to speak with Pastor Chris at Kingsley. That way we'll know more of where we are headed.
There were quite a few people there that we knew... the christian community isn't that large here in NB... and we did enjoy the service. A few questions arose, but that is what coffee with Pastor Karl is for, right??
On the whole, so glad we went! They are starting up a new Beth Moore Bible Study next week. Now to get Caitlyn to want to go to the youth service next Sunday Night!! She really wants to go but is extremely nervous about approaching a large group of young people on her own... wonder why? Maybe I'll see if she can take a friend with her. That should help.
The kids "foundation building" classes were great. I know the lady who has Caitlyn's class and she is amazing, so godly and wise. I couldn't pick a better teacher for her. Dave's friend/coworker does the Jr church and that was great too.
The music was terrific. There were instruments (sweet trumpet Ang... the bongos were a nice touch!!) The worship leader, Mark, is a friend of ours and he did an incredible job. The choir was wonderful. Mark was dancing up a storm there in the back row of the choir which Caitlyn thought was funny!! The music was all very worshipful and varied.
It was kind of a weird day to visit since they had a missionary speaker... none like I had ever heard though. She has the ear of the likes of Bill Gates and Bill Clinton and can easily articulate why the church of commonfolk can do more in the world than all their professionals. Its not the amazing abilities of the people to deliver hope, education and the gospel; its the power of God working through these common people that is making the difference. They have to agree with her, even though they don't really get it. She was an amazing speaker.
At the end of the service Pastor Mark, the worship pastor, our friend, got up and read his resignation... was it because he saw US there? It was just a weird day to be there. So... we'll go again next week when it should be a normal week.
Pastor Karl, the Senior Pastor was very approachable. He wants to meet with Dave soon for coffee. I think we'll wait on that until we have a chance to speak with Pastor Chris at Kingsley. That way we'll know more of where we are headed.
There were quite a few people there that we knew... the christian community isn't that large here in NB... and we did enjoy the service. A few questions arose, but that is what coffee with Pastor Karl is for, right??
On the whole, so glad we went! They are starting up a new Beth Moore Bible Study next week. Now to get Caitlyn to want to go to the youth service next Sunday Night!! She really wants to go but is extremely nervous about approaching a large group of young people on her own... wonder why? Maybe I'll see if she can take a friend with her. That should help.
Aliant slowing me down
Its been a little frustrating trying to use the ol' computer lately. The speed has been sloooow. We've been getting and average of 80kbs/sec... so we called the trusty service provider (ha ha) because we should be getting upwards of 700 kbs/sec.
Friday our speed was just cruising at 150 and that was great for us lately... then the tech came, "fixed" the problem and told me he doubled the speed. I was so excited!! The speed changed all right. It dropped down to 27.5. When you get the decimal figure you know its slow.
I called Aliant, yes Aliant... I have mentioned them by name Ha Ha!!! ... to complain. I was very nice, just couldn't see how 150 doubled came to 28 (I'll even round up)... must be the new math. This guy fixed the problem for me and now we average 4 kbs/sec and most of the time I can't pull up the page I want. I'm almost afraid to ask for MORE help, but the technician is coming back tomorrow.
Just thought y'all might want to know.
Friday our speed was just cruising at 150 and that was great for us lately... then the tech came, "fixed" the problem and told me he doubled the speed. I was so excited!! The speed changed all right. It dropped down to 27.5. When you get the decimal figure you know its slow.
I called Aliant, yes Aliant... I have mentioned them by name Ha Ha!!! ... to complain. I was very nice, just couldn't see how 150 doubled came to 28 (I'll even round up)... must be the new math. This guy fixed the problem for me and now we average 4 kbs/sec and most of the time I can't pull up the page I want. I'm almost afraid to ask for MORE help, but the technician is coming back tomorrow.
Just thought y'all might want to know.
Friday, February 09, 2007
BRF -- Haggai
I must admit I had a problem with Haggai. I was still regrouping after the Timothys. I haven't felt the edge of the sword of the spirit doing its surgical work like those weeks in a long, long time. It feels awful to have to really humble yourself and learn and grow and pray and weep and pray some more. It was almost more than I could stand. "Life" got tough... from more than one direction. And God was so, so, so good... and Dave was good too. My poor family most likely thought Mom was losing it for sure. And then,
Haggai
Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues... this book makes no sense. I don't see anything. BRF is gonna be real humiliating because I don't get it. Can we go back to the New Testament???
Then Wednesday.
I opened up the Word, looked at this book and prayed. Ever have a time when you know you aren't the one praying? Its your voice, your brain but its the mind of the Spirit of God. Those times remind me that He really is indwelling me and He is giving me the blessing of praying what I can't and so desperately want to. This is only the 4th time this has ever happened to me. It makes me crave God. Then He sat with me and said He'd help me this time to understand some.. not all. I love Haggai. Its so simple.
When God is allowed into the study of His word, its so simple. When He is allowed to teach its easy. When I study with my own wisdom its meaningless and confusing.
The first chapter was enough to finish me. I had just been thinking (This is awful I know) that if we skimped on our tithe than maybe we could do a few things around the house that need to be done. This thought has been recurring for the past few weeks. At first I dismissed it, then I dwelt on it, then... someone decided that I needed to read Haggai chapter one. I hope y'all feel sorry for me as I had to face another major conviction here!!
vs 3 "Then the word of the Lord came by Haggai the prophet, saying, "Is it time for you yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, and this temple to lie in ruins?" The Israelites put their own homes before the Lord's. Their priorities were completely off. They were taking the world's advice.... The Lord will understand why you need to have your nice things first... He has heaven, this is all you have... keep the nicest home you can for your family... that's your ministry so put your tithe there...
That is NOT God's plan. God is always to be first. That is not selfish on His part... He is caring for us. The only way for our homes to be havens for our family is to make sure that He is first in our lives. "But seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you."
Thankfully the Israelites recognized the truth when they heard it and with their Governor Zerubbabel leading them they hustled to get the temple finished. I love it when they actually obey!!! It gives me hope that I can also learn, repent, obey and be blessed!
Don't you just love the carefully consider verses. I stopped and made sure I considered these carefully. Ch 1 vs 5, vs 7, ch 2 vs 15, vs 18-19. Why do I feel sometimes like we work and work and everything just disappears into thin air? Where does the money go? We don't buy anything and yet it disappears. My priorities are way out of whack and I don't even notice. We work hard and bring in little. We put our earnings in a bag of holes.
Ch 2 vs 6-10. This temple was being built... but it was not as grand as the temple that was destroyed. Solomon's temple had been amazing, this one was ok. God's not so picky about how things look on the outside. THIS was the temple to be blessed. THIS was the temple which was to see the Desire of All Nations and be filled with glory. What a fabulous name for Christ.... The Desire of All Nations. I have to pause again here... this name makes Christ so BIG and holy and beyond the baby Jesus and even the miracler worker and healer of the sick... He is beyond... beyond what I can imagine and that's ok. He is still my Saviour and Redeemer... but more. I'm left behind in the dust! THIS temple will receive Him. This work the people are doing is extremely important.
Mom always used to say that goodness never rubs off on anyone, but evil does. If you hang out with people who aren't living for the Lord, they will not be the ones to raise their standards to meet yours... you will lower yours to meet theirs. ch 2 vs 10-14. She was right.
vs 15-19 ...Consider now from this day forward.... from the day that the foundation of the Lord's temple was laid - Consider it.... from this day I will bless you.
God sees our hearts. He sees repentence. He sees us change... He causes it. When we are not just hearers of the word, but doers He blesses. He doesn't always give us money... He blesses us.
vs 23. "In that day," says the Lord of hosts, "I will take you Zerubbabel My servant, the son of Shealtiel," says the Lord, "and will make you like a signet ring; for I have chosen you."
This verse made me very excited for this governor who didn't have much to govern, but I didn't know why. I googled signet rings, found out some neat stuff, but still didn't get it. So yes I cheated. I checked in Dave's study Bible. This was an honour. Zerubbabel was not given the word from the Lord, but Haggai was. Zerubbabel was the authorizing voice that put the "seal of approval" on the words from Haggai. He was the driving force behind obeying the Lord to finish the temple.
The signet ring was extremely important in verifying any edict sent out from the king or a nobleman. The ring was not taken off the finger except to bestow honour and power to another who could then legally speak for the king (or nobleman). To be the Lord's signet ring would be in essense having the legal rights for the Lord on earth. Could Zerubbabel be capable of handling such an honour?? NO, of course not. He is the one who seals the genealogical lines of both Joseph and Mary.
He is a descendant of Solomon's line, through that Joseph would have the legal right to the throne of David. Because of this Jesus had the earthly legal right to the throne of David. As an adoptive son, Jesus being the eldest would still have this right.
Zerubbabel was also a descendant of Nathan through whom Mary had the bloodline to the throne of David. Thus Jesus had full blood and legal rights through his earthly parents.
I'm not sure just how they skip through the women in the geneologies. Do they just count the fathers of the mothers and go through his line to the throne? I think there is a new line of study here for me!!
However this all plays out, Zerubbabel made it into both geneologies in Matthew and in Luke as did his father, Shealtiel. This because He obeyed a word from the Lord which he received 3rd hand and obeyed it.
Wouldn't it be terrible to be a prophet of the Lord, KNEW that what you said came straight from on high and no one listened? I know that some of the prophets had that happen. How wonderful that didn't happen this time.
After thought. The temple over the years had some restoration and improvements done and then was expanded upon by Herod, but this was definitely the same temple that Christ was dedicated in and was prophesied over as a baby... the same temple where the curtain to the Holy of Holies was torn from top to bottom when Christ was crucified, so we can know enter into that Holy place everyday. The same temple that stood when peace with God became a reality. The prophesies of Haggai all came true.
Haggai
Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues... this book makes no sense. I don't see anything. BRF is gonna be real humiliating because I don't get it. Can we go back to the New Testament???
Then Wednesday.
I opened up the Word, looked at this book and prayed. Ever have a time when you know you aren't the one praying? Its your voice, your brain but its the mind of the Spirit of God. Those times remind me that He really is indwelling me and He is giving me the blessing of praying what I can't and so desperately want to. This is only the 4th time this has ever happened to me. It makes me crave God. Then He sat with me and said He'd help me this time to understand some.. not all. I love Haggai. Its so simple.
When God is allowed into the study of His word, its so simple. When He is allowed to teach its easy. When I study with my own wisdom its meaningless and confusing.
The first chapter was enough to finish me. I had just been thinking (This is awful I know) that if we skimped on our tithe than maybe we could do a few things around the house that need to be done. This thought has been recurring for the past few weeks. At first I dismissed it, then I dwelt on it, then... someone decided that I needed to read Haggai chapter one. I hope y'all feel sorry for me as I had to face another major conviction here!!
vs 3 "Then the word of the Lord came by Haggai the prophet, saying, "Is it time for you yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, and this temple to lie in ruins?" The Israelites put their own homes before the Lord's. Their priorities were completely off. They were taking the world's advice.... The Lord will understand why you need to have your nice things first... He has heaven, this is all you have... keep the nicest home you can for your family... that's your ministry so put your tithe there...
That is NOT God's plan. God is always to be first. That is not selfish on His part... He is caring for us. The only way for our homes to be havens for our family is to make sure that He is first in our lives. "But seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you."
Thankfully the Israelites recognized the truth when they heard it and with their Governor Zerubbabel leading them they hustled to get the temple finished. I love it when they actually obey!!! It gives me hope that I can also learn, repent, obey and be blessed!
Don't you just love the carefully consider verses. I stopped and made sure I considered these carefully. Ch 1 vs 5, vs 7, ch 2 vs 15, vs 18-19. Why do I feel sometimes like we work and work and everything just disappears into thin air? Where does the money go? We don't buy anything and yet it disappears. My priorities are way out of whack and I don't even notice. We work hard and bring in little. We put our earnings in a bag of holes.
Ch 2 vs 6-10. This temple was being built... but it was not as grand as the temple that was destroyed. Solomon's temple had been amazing, this one was ok. God's not so picky about how things look on the outside. THIS was the temple to be blessed. THIS was the temple which was to see the Desire of All Nations and be filled with glory. What a fabulous name for Christ.... The Desire of All Nations. I have to pause again here... this name makes Christ so BIG and holy and beyond the baby Jesus and even the miracler worker and healer of the sick... He is beyond... beyond what I can imagine and that's ok. He is still my Saviour and Redeemer... but more. I'm left behind in the dust! THIS temple will receive Him. This work the people are doing is extremely important.
Mom always used to say that goodness never rubs off on anyone, but evil does. If you hang out with people who aren't living for the Lord, they will not be the ones to raise their standards to meet yours... you will lower yours to meet theirs. ch 2 vs 10-14. She was right.
vs 15-19 ...Consider now from this day forward.... from the day that the foundation of the Lord's temple was laid - Consider it.... from this day I will bless you.
God sees our hearts. He sees repentence. He sees us change... He causes it. When we are not just hearers of the word, but doers He blesses. He doesn't always give us money... He blesses us.
vs 23. "In that day," says the Lord of hosts, "I will take you Zerubbabel My servant, the son of Shealtiel," says the Lord, "and will make you like a signet ring; for I have chosen you."
This verse made me very excited for this governor who didn't have much to govern, but I didn't know why. I googled signet rings, found out some neat stuff, but still didn't get it. So yes I cheated. I checked in Dave's study Bible. This was an honour. Zerubbabel was not given the word from the Lord, but Haggai was. Zerubbabel was the authorizing voice that put the "seal of approval" on the words from Haggai. He was the driving force behind obeying the Lord to finish the temple.
The signet ring was extremely important in verifying any edict sent out from the king or a nobleman. The ring was not taken off the finger except to bestow honour and power to another who could then legally speak for the king (or nobleman). To be the Lord's signet ring would be in essense having the legal rights for the Lord on earth. Could Zerubbabel be capable of handling such an honour?? NO, of course not. He is the one who seals the genealogical lines of both Joseph and Mary.
He is a descendant of Solomon's line, through that Joseph would have the legal right to the throne of David. Because of this Jesus had the earthly legal right to the throne of David. As an adoptive son, Jesus being the eldest would still have this right.
Zerubbabel was also a descendant of Nathan through whom Mary had the bloodline to the throne of David. Thus Jesus had full blood and legal rights through his earthly parents.
I'm not sure just how they skip through the women in the geneologies. Do they just count the fathers of the mothers and go through his line to the throne? I think there is a new line of study here for me!!
However this all plays out, Zerubbabel made it into both geneologies in Matthew and in Luke as did his father, Shealtiel. This because He obeyed a word from the Lord which he received 3rd hand and obeyed it.
Wouldn't it be terrible to be a prophet of the Lord, KNEW that what you said came straight from on high and no one listened? I know that some of the prophets had that happen. How wonderful that didn't happen this time.
After thought. The temple over the years had some restoration and improvements done and then was expanded upon by Herod, but this was definitely the same temple that Christ was dedicated in and was prophesied over as a baby... the same temple where the curtain to the Holy of Holies was torn from top to bottom when Christ was crucified, so we can know enter into that Holy place everyday. The same temple that stood when peace with God became a reality. The prophesies of Haggai all came true.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
BRF(S) 2 Timothy
If I were at the end of my life and writing a letter to my child, what would I write??
You can be sure I wouldn't be wasting time on frivolous things. It would be important, very important. There would be a few big issues and many small things. I would be trying to convey what I have learned in my life experience to someone who would no longer have the benefit of being able to ask me anything.
I think I would also try to let more of me show through. I would want my child to "hear" my voice as they read through the letter. I'd instill a little humour....
Just like Paul did.
This week, I thought I'd have this book memorized. I figured with a whole week with no chores or cooking to do I'd read the book at least 10 times a day. not.
I've actually had a real struggle with some bitterness that had nothing to do with the fact Justin was so sick. That was left securely in God's hands and I had a real peace about it, even when Justin was barely breathing and not responding to medications like he should. I became more and more bitter as I sat in one room, with the occasional excursion to the cafeteria or bathroom, and didn't hear from my church family, at all. They knew I was in there, right from the very start BUT no one called, visited, sent a card, offered to help with the kids or sent a meal. As the week went on my attitude about this became more and more stinky. I was ticked.
Now I was finally ready to hear Paul.
He is confined to house arrest. He has no telephone. His friends are all disappearing, some even leaving the faith. He is older, tired, has endured unimaginable beatings in his life with no physiotherapy... I'm sure he's in pain... and yet, what is missing? There is no bitterness. He is not taking anything personally. He names some of these people and uses them as examples to encourage Timothy to stand firm and hold fast. He uses himself as an example of how to endure... and why.
I love the way he says in ch 1 vs 3 that he has served God with a pure conscience. He is able to use himself all throughout this letter as an example of how to serve the Lord. Could I do that at the end of my life? I'm thinking not. I can use many examples in my life of what not to do.
In chapter 3 Paul says this... vs 10 and11 "But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra -- what persections I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me."
Ok... I feel like a flop. Yes, we have had a hard time at our church lately. With slandering, rudeness, snide remarks and worse. We are innocent of these accusations, yet to most it doesn't matter. Paul had much worse happen to him. No one at our church has had us arrested, stoned, flogged or run out of town!! (Though I have a feeling a few would like to!!) This has nothing to do with us really, it is their sin that is being allowed to run wild.
It is not my responsibility to stop the trial, it is my responsibility to respond in love, period. I don't want to. I want to be bitter, run away and tell a few people off. Is that enduring hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ? I can't let the fact that I had a bad week affect my attitude toward the people that Christ died for and loves with an everlasting love.
How's this for a rebuke?? ch 2 vs 24-26 "And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will."
My feelings are not to be the motivation behind how I act. I need to be gentle and able to correct in humility so they may know the truth and be freed from the captivity of the devil. There is no room in the Christian life for bitterness. It keeps others (and myself) grip of the devil.
I would like to fulfill my ministry. To be able to say at the end that I have fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith. I dare say I have a long way to go!
I love the part, right after he explains that he has finished... is being poured out like a drink offering etc., where he asks Timothy to "be diligent to come to me quickly" and later "Do your utmost to come before winter." Hello, I'm gonna die soon, come soon or don't bother... and bring me a coat while you're at it... before it gets cold.
This is getting too long.
I would hate to have been one of the guys Paul named as an example of what not to be. All we know about them is that they fell short of the mark.
It would be wonderful to be named as someone who has been an encouragement to Paul. We don't know much about them either. Some we have heard of before, some not. I'm wondering who Claudia is. Of the last of Paul's letters, she is the last person named. What an honor.
Who would name their kids Pudens?? Want some puddin' Pudens?
Hopefully I won't be so longwinded next time!
You can be sure I wouldn't be wasting time on frivolous things. It would be important, very important. There would be a few big issues and many small things. I would be trying to convey what I have learned in my life experience to someone who would no longer have the benefit of being able to ask me anything.
I think I would also try to let more of me show through. I would want my child to "hear" my voice as they read through the letter. I'd instill a little humour....
Just like Paul did.
This week, I thought I'd have this book memorized. I figured with a whole week with no chores or cooking to do I'd read the book at least 10 times a day. not.
I've actually had a real struggle with some bitterness that had nothing to do with the fact Justin was so sick. That was left securely in God's hands and I had a real peace about it, even when Justin was barely breathing and not responding to medications like he should. I became more and more bitter as I sat in one room, with the occasional excursion to the cafeteria or bathroom, and didn't hear from my church family, at all. They knew I was in there, right from the very start BUT no one called, visited, sent a card, offered to help with the kids or sent a meal. As the week went on my attitude about this became more and more stinky. I was ticked.
Now I was finally ready to hear Paul.
He is confined to house arrest. He has no telephone. His friends are all disappearing, some even leaving the faith. He is older, tired, has endured unimaginable beatings in his life with no physiotherapy... I'm sure he's in pain... and yet, what is missing? There is no bitterness. He is not taking anything personally. He names some of these people and uses them as examples to encourage Timothy to stand firm and hold fast. He uses himself as an example of how to endure... and why.
I love the way he says in ch 1 vs 3 that he has served God with a pure conscience. He is able to use himself all throughout this letter as an example of how to serve the Lord. Could I do that at the end of my life? I'm thinking not. I can use many examples in my life of what not to do.
In chapter 3 Paul says this... vs 10 and11 "But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra -- what persections I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me."
Ok... I feel like a flop. Yes, we have had a hard time at our church lately. With slandering, rudeness, snide remarks and worse. We are innocent of these accusations, yet to most it doesn't matter. Paul had much worse happen to him. No one at our church has had us arrested, stoned, flogged or run out of town!! (Though I have a feeling a few would like to!!) This has nothing to do with us really, it is their sin that is being allowed to run wild.
It is not my responsibility to stop the trial, it is my responsibility to respond in love, period. I don't want to. I want to be bitter, run away and tell a few people off. Is that enduring hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ? I can't let the fact that I had a bad week affect my attitude toward the people that Christ died for and loves with an everlasting love.
How's this for a rebuke?? ch 2 vs 24-26 "And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will."
My feelings are not to be the motivation behind how I act. I need to be gentle and able to correct in humility so they may know the truth and be freed from the captivity of the devil. There is no room in the Christian life for bitterness. It keeps others (and myself) grip of the devil.
I would like to fulfill my ministry. To be able to say at the end that I have fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith. I dare say I have a long way to go!
I love the part, right after he explains that he has finished... is being poured out like a drink offering etc., where he asks Timothy to "be diligent to come to me quickly" and later "Do your utmost to come before winter." Hello, I'm gonna die soon, come soon or don't bother... and bring me a coat while you're at it... before it gets cold.
This is getting too long.
I would hate to have been one of the guys Paul named as an example of what not to be. All we know about them is that they fell short of the mark.
It would be wonderful to be named as someone who has been an encouragement to Paul. We don't know much about them either. Some we have heard of before, some not. I'm wondering who Claudia is. Of the last of Paul's letters, she is the last person named. What an honor.
Who would name their kids Pudens?? Want some puddin' Pudens?
Hopefully I won't be so longwinded next time!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Home at last
We are finally home!!! We arrived at 6:45 pm to find some very happy kids. I didn't know until today just how sick Justin was. Another day at home would most likely have been his last. I am so thankful for IV's, oxygen masks, ventalin, antibiotics and all the machines that put them into little bodies in just the right doses. I am thankful for good nurses and doctors, parking passes(!), volunteers and student nurses who still go gaga over cute babies! And I am so thankful for the healing hand of my heavenly Father who gave us our baby back.
From Sunday to Wednesday night Justin didn't even try to sit up! When he did sit up, for 2-3 min tops, he crashed and was asleep before his head hit the pillow... I'm so glad he didn't fall into the crib bars. From the 3 Monday afternoon until 2:oo this afternoon Justin drank a total of 11 0z of fluid, and ate mainly yogurt from Weds night on.
This was not fun.
Wednesday Connor was sliding, crashed and 2 kids crashed on him. We thought he broke his collarbone, but thankfully only pulled a pec. Now he has the fun of telling others he has a pulled pec!
Thursday, Molly and Jack both fell ill. They most likely also have RSV, but the symptoms lessen with age. Therefore, Jack is more sick than Molly, but Justin was more sick than Jack. The older kids have the sniffles, which is how RSV shows in older kids.
Dave and I were both coming home at the same time, but Dave stopped to get the prescription for Justin and a few groceries. I came straight home, except the stop for windshield wiper fluid as I was driving almost blind. Jack had just had a fudgicle and had a dirty diaper so I lovingly cleaned him all up and put on fresh jammies. He started coughing and I crouched down with my arms out for a big Jack hug!! How I missed this sweet boy. He came running with a weird look on his face which I recognized a split second too late.
Yes, instead of my warm, cuddly hug.... I got puked on over the head. As I sat there holding Jack with vomit dripping down my hair and face I just started laughing.... hysterics maybe? Jack, unsure at first, giggled, pointed to me and said, "Yuck!"
Yeah, yuck!! Absolutely!! Then I did what any sane(?) mom would do... call the oldest child! "Caitlyn, I need help!! Towels, wet washcloths, whatever you can find NOW!!"
She ran in and stopped short. Jack pointed to me again and said, "Mommy, yuck!!"
That's my boy. Short and to the point.
I'm clean now.
Dave is home.
Dave cleaned all the pukey towels!!! Love that guy!
The kids are in bed.
My book review Friday is moving to Saturday.
My ventalin puffer is not working well... I pray that Justin won't need it!
I am almost scared to go to sleep knowing no nurses are on the watch 24/7 for Justin... God is watching 24/7 for Justin, Jack, Molly and all the rest of them and He has always woken us up when we needed to be awake...
I have nothing to fear.
I would love to share something that was hilarious, but the person who said it has no idea how hilarious it was... and I'm not sure that she doesn't read this. I think she was absolutely serious. I'm so glad I could have a good laugh with God!!
G'night.
From Sunday to Wednesday night Justin didn't even try to sit up! When he did sit up, for 2-3 min tops, he crashed and was asleep before his head hit the pillow... I'm so glad he didn't fall into the crib bars. From the 3 Monday afternoon until 2:oo this afternoon Justin drank a total of 11 0z of fluid, and ate mainly yogurt from Weds night on.
This was not fun.
Wednesday Connor was sliding, crashed and 2 kids crashed on him. We thought he broke his collarbone, but thankfully only pulled a pec. Now he has the fun of telling others he has a pulled pec!
Thursday, Molly and Jack both fell ill. They most likely also have RSV, but the symptoms lessen with age. Therefore, Jack is more sick than Molly, but Justin was more sick than Jack. The older kids have the sniffles, which is how RSV shows in older kids.
Dave and I were both coming home at the same time, but Dave stopped to get the prescription for Justin and a few groceries. I came straight home, except the stop for windshield wiper fluid as I was driving almost blind. Jack had just had a fudgicle and had a dirty diaper so I lovingly cleaned him all up and put on fresh jammies. He started coughing and I crouched down with my arms out for a big Jack hug!! How I missed this sweet boy. He came running with a weird look on his face which I recognized a split second too late.
Yes, instead of my warm, cuddly hug.... I got puked on over the head. As I sat there holding Jack with vomit dripping down my hair and face I just started laughing.... hysterics maybe? Jack, unsure at first, giggled, pointed to me and said, "Yuck!"
Yeah, yuck!! Absolutely!! Then I did what any sane(?) mom would do... call the oldest child! "Caitlyn, I need help!! Towels, wet washcloths, whatever you can find NOW!!"
She ran in and stopped short. Jack pointed to me again and said, "Mommy, yuck!!"
That's my boy. Short and to the point.
I'm clean now.
Dave is home.
Dave cleaned all the pukey towels!!! Love that guy!
The kids are in bed.
My book review Friday is moving to Saturday.
My ventalin puffer is not working well... I pray that Justin won't need it!
I am almost scared to go to sleep knowing no nurses are on the watch 24/7 for Justin... God is watching 24/7 for Justin, Jack, Molly and all the rest of them and He has always woken us up when we needed to be awake...
I have nothing to fear.
I would love to share something that was hilarious, but the person who said it has no idea how hilarious it was... and I'm not sure that she doesn't read this. I think she was absolutely serious. I'm so glad I could have a good laugh with God!!
G'night.
The hospital, our new home
Well, this isn't how I planned this week. This week we were going to delve into history and study Samuel de Champlain and the settlement on St. Croix Island in 1602. We have the interpretive trunk from the dept of education with 30 different items including a beaver pelt, a moccasin, a wooden shoe boot and cd's teaching the kids how to speak an Indian language.
However, that isn't happening!! I am sitting in the hospital with a very sick Justin.
We were admitted yesterday after I couldn't get him to wake up and the only liquids going into his little body were what I was forcing in. My doctor let me bring him right into the office, diagnosed him with pneumonia, with possible RSV, and then sent him right to the hospital for admitting. I'm so thankful for a few good friends who are willing to take on a bunch of kids with no notice, just we are on the way!!
This has been a good time to do a little Bible study and do some reading. Last night I didn't have my own Bible yet and went to pull out the trusty Gideon Bible only to find out it was in french! I don't read or speak french. How wonderful when Dave brought in my bag with my own Bible in it!
Justin is on oxygen, IV with antibiotics and the occasional Tylenol and is starting to respond well. His temp is hovering around normal. His fluids are better, tho' he isn't drinking much and because he is getting enough oxygen he is somewhat more alert. My active little guy doesn't even want to sit up. He did play with a truck for about a minute today. I'm so glad this is temporary. Some moms would love to have their kids as healthy as my baby. We will be in at least another day, maybe more. They would like to see him more alert and active and breathing well without the oxygen. He is still struggling to get a good breath even with the oxygen.
He is so cute and so... pathetic(?) that everyone is falling in love with him.
I just took a look at my last post. I was leaving to check Justin. That was when I saw the very labored breathing and high temp, sweats and couldn't wake him up. How the mood of the house changed in a very, very short time!!
However, that isn't happening!! I am sitting in the hospital with a very sick Justin.
We were admitted yesterday after I couldn't get him to wake up and the only liquids going into his little body were what I was forcing in. My doctor let me bring him right into the office, diagnosed him with pneumonia, with possible RSV, and then sent him right to the hospital for admitting. I'm so thankful for a few good friends who are willing to take on a bunch of kids with no notice, just we are on the way!!
This has been a good time to do a little Bible study and do some reading. Last night I didn't have my own Bible yet and went to pull out the trusty Gideon Bible only to find out it was in french! I don't read or speak french. How wonderful when Dave brought in my bag with my own Bible in it!
Justin is on oxygen, IV with antibiotics and the occasional Tylenol and is starting to respond well. His temp is hovering around normal. His fluids are better, tho' he isn't drinking much and because he is getting enough oxygen he is somewhat more alert. My active little guy doesn't even want to sit up. He did play with a truck for about a minute today. I'm so glad this is temporary. Some moms would love to have their kids as healthy as my baby. We will be in at least another day, maybe more. They would like to see him more alert and active and breathing well without the oxygen. He is still struggling to get a good breath even with the oxygen.
He is so cute and so... pathetic(?) that everyone is falling in love with him.
I just took a look at my last post. I was leaving to check Justin. That was when I saw the very labored breathing and high temp, sweats and couldn't wake him up. How the mood of the house changed in a very, very short time!!
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