Every now and then I feel the need to complete a survey. I have no idea who Amy is, but I'm hoping this will help her!! I found this on Shannon's blog. I don't know Shannon very well either.. never in person or even on the phone... but I do know Shannon's sister and brother-in-law!!
How long have you been married?
15 1/2 years
How long did you and your spouse really know each other before you married?
6 months
Looking back, how prepared do you feel you were for marriage?
almost enough... not quite
If you have kids, how long did you wait before starting your family?
We didn't really wait. We wanted them whenever God wanted us to have them. Caitlyn was born 2 1/2 years after we were married. We had a miscarriage when we were married 14 months... on Christmas Day... in Calgary when our family was in the Maritimes... hard year.
How many children do you have and what are their ages?
We are expecting #8 in July. Caitlyn is 13 next month, Matt is 10, Connor is 9 today!!, Courtney is 7, Molly 4, Jack is 3 and Justin is 14 months.
What challenges have you faced at this stage in your marriage?
We have both babies and puberty here. I'm tired and they aren't. We are always looking for Christian friends that believe the Bible is the final authority and not our feelings. Much tougher challenge than we thought especially when our kids are reaching the ages where they are interested in other views outside our family.
If you have kids, has your relationship changed since you've added them to your family?
yes
If so, in what way(s)?
We have a real need to work together for our family. When we don't spend the time we need together WITHOUT THE KIDS we work at cross purposes at times which can cause real stress.
What resources or support systems do you have that benefit your marriage?
I read a lot. I depend on women such as Elizabeth George, Anne Ortlund and Nancy Leigh DeMoss for their wisdom, honesty and at times a good kick in the behind... all from the pages of their well written books. I have been longing for a wise Titus 2 lady to mentor me for years and never found one. Someday I hope to be a good resource or support for another young struggling mom... or more!
The Bible of course is the best resource I have. If I can be the wife the Bible has outlined for me, life would be so much better. When I am struggling to make myself my husbands Holy Spirit, I make a mess of things. Being the "weaker" vessel is a wondrous blessing for my husband, children and myself.
What advice do you have for young couples contemplating marriage and starting a family?
First of all, make your relationship with the Lord your highest priority. Being married is tough. Everyone else seems to think they know what is best for your family when the simple fact is God is leading different families in different ways. Seek the Lord together. You may think that you will automatically want to pray and search the scriptures together always, but you have no idea how Satan will try to destroy your marriage. Its work. Nothing is automatic except sin and selfish behaviour... even yours. Take responsibility for your faults and let the Holy Spirit work in your spouse to lead them to take responsibility for theirs.
AND THE BIGGY......What is/are the biggest need(s) that you have as a husband/wife at this stage in your marriage? If you can only take the time to answer ONE question, please answer the last one!
The biggest need we have at this stage in our married lives is to commit to prayer and Bible study together. My husband even went out and bought a special book for us to do about 3 months ago and we have never opened it together. It is tough to find the time... this has been the hardest winter we have had on many, many levels... and we both want to. We just have to get together and do it.
Ok, that was really honest and who knows who is going to read this!
My husband will for one thing... Hi D!!
Hope this helps Amy.
I should check your blog to see if you are a christian... this may be drivel to you if you aren't.
Oh well, you ask strangers for help... sometimes you get drivel, sometimes gold.
2 comments:
Am I working?
Okay, I am!
I'm Amy, by the way! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the responses to my questions! This is a HUGE help to me and my research! I AM a believer, and this paper is for my final research project at Philadelphia Biblical University. I need to research and develop a program that I would like to see implemented in my local church. I'm looking to develop a "mentoring marriage ministries" program where couples who desire to, can be trained and inspired to be "mentors" to other couples - be they newlyweds, young families, or marriages in distress. My end goal is to see the church really step up and "take care of their own" and not have the pastor be the sole man responsible for the discipling and counseling of these marriages. Hopefully, we'll see good marriages become great, and great marriages utilizing their wisdom and services in helping other couples.
Your wisdom and insight with "almost 8" is fabulous!!! We are expecting #2 at the beginning of June. Huge congratulations! We still have a ways to go to catch up!!!
Again, thank you so much!
God bless you!
Pardon my rambles.....
Post a Comment