Why can't I just say what I want??
When asked what I want... I freeze. I just freeze.
Do you want....? If I say no, its a lie.... yes is the answer...
But it sticks in my mouth.
The more deeply I want to say yes, the more impossible it is.
And the battle to say yes is crushing me.
Why can't I allow myself to want.
I can want to help. I can want to give. I can want to provide wants for my kids.
But not for me.
So tonight... the question is asked...
Do you want.....??
And I could only answer when I knew it was too late.
The answer.... it was yes.
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