Redemption

You'd think that I would learn by now not to purchase a book because I like the title and the book is purple. You'd think that someone with my book reading experience would know how to flip the book over to check out the plot before PURCHASING a book.

No.

I think... "Karen Kingsbury with Gary Smalley writing a book series together.... I like K. K..... I like G.S. and its a SERIES... I can pick up one a month to treat myself until I get the set... "

I am an IDIOT!!

You say, how can you miss with those outstanding authors?? And its a series?? Maybe you have read the book!! If you know me and you've read the book maybe you know where I am headed here.

First of all, its an amazing, well written, God honouring book that will help a lot of people.

BUT...

I really wanted this, my first NEW book for I don't know how long, to be one where I could lose myself in someone else's life... just for a little while. How was I to know that the main character in the book was living my life. OK, mine is still a little worse. God knows that I needed this book so I could remember that only He can work in people's hearts. All is not lost. I need to believe and be faithful.

Never have I had such a hard time forcing myself to continue reading. I've cried like a baby.. and Caitlyn has a friend over for the night who must think her mom has lost her marbles... its OK though because as a mom I can do weird things and they just blame it on my advanced age!!

I won't ruin the story line for you book lovers out there. I do recommend this book because you will understand me :) and others like me that have gone through a marital breakdown... how we really feel and, most importantly to me, why I feel that I must move towards marital togetherness with my husband. It isn't that I am crazy or out of touch with reality. I am married. I need to be reconciled to my husband... regardless of how much he doesn't want to be reconciled to me. Even when he has royally screwed up, his sin is no worse than mine. "Let he that is without sin cast the first stone.." How can I stone him with hatred when I am a sinner as well?

I need to go to bed.

I do need to say one more thing. Many people are reading my blog and have been asking questions about Dave and what is going on. I'm not picking on anyone. Many people are asking. I value all of my friends and acquaintances... but... please stop asking! I blog as carefully as I can to get my feelings down and try to be honoring to my husband. I share with a few close friends more, but not all. I hope I'm not blundering the way I feel like I am... bottom line is, Dave is not accountable to my friends, no matter how dear my friends are. I trust I'm not stepping on toes here. I love my husband and am willing to forgive him. Whether you agree with that or not is OK. You are entitled to your opinion!! Please don't put me on the spot by asking what he is doing... or not doing.

That's all!! Please keep praying. Someday I'll move past blog world and get back into getting together with friends world!! Whoo hoo!!!

I'll just need to stock up on some hot choc and Christmas tea!!

Happy December everyone!!!

24 days until Christmas!!!